The Psychology of Self-Perception - When Your Inner and Outer Worlds Clash
- Tim Thürnau
- 17. Sept. 2024
- 3 Min. Lesezeit
Hello friend,
Ever felt like the person the world sees you as and the person you see yourself as are completely different? Maybe you’ve lost a ton of weight, ended a long-term relationship, won a huge contract to play professional sports, or achieved amazing business success. Suddenly, everyone expects you to be this new version of yourself, but inside, you still feel like the same person with the same fears and doubts. If you’re nodding along, this article is for you.
Questions to ponder
Why does my inner and outer selves sometimes feel so disconnected? Who even am I after rapid changes in my life and status happen? - Those are tough questions, let’s dive into it.
The Psychology Behind Self-Perception
When you undergo a significant life change, your self-perception can lag behind your new reality. Psychologists call this phenomenon "self-discrepancy theory." Essentially, there’s a gap between your actual self (how you see yourself) and your ideal or ought self (how you think you should be or how others see you). This gap can create discomfort, anxiety, and even identity crises.
Rapid Change and Status Anxiety
Ancestrally, the ladder spanning from the highest you could climb to the lowest you could fall had far fewer rungs than it does today. In a tribe of 80 people, there wasn’t much room for your status to rollercoaster around. But in the modern world, there are unlimited degrees of freedom for your status to ascend in one domain or fall in another. Our human minds are not prepared for our outward presentation and self-image to be ripped apart from each other so quickly.
Why the Discrepancy?
Human minds evolved in relatively stable environments where changes in social status were gradual. Rapid changes—like sudden fame, drastic weight loss, or a significant career leap—create a disconnect because our self-concept evolves much more slowly. We’re wired to adapt to slow, incremental changes, not the rapid shifts common in modern society.
Coping with the Rollercoaster
Understanding this psychological phenomenon can help you cope better. Here are a few steps you can take to bridge the gap between your inner and outer selves:
Self-Reflection: Take time to reflect on your achievements and changes. Journaling can be a powerful tool to help your mind process the new reality.
Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness to stay grounded. Mindfulness helps you stay connected to the present moment and reduces anxiety about the future or past.
Seek Support: Talk to trusted friends, family, or a therapist about your feelings. Sharing your inner experiences can validate your feelings and provide new perspectives.
How to Wing It
Start a daily journaling practice where you write about your current feelings and experiences. Reflect on how your inner self is aligning with your outer achievements and note any discrepancies. Over time, this can help your self-perception catch up with your reality.
Final Thoughts
Life’s rapid changes can create a disconnect between our inner and outer worlds, but understanding and addressing this phenomenon can help you navigate the rollercoaster with more ease. Try to enjoy the ride, knowing that eventually, your self-perception will align with your new reality. And remember, you’re not alone in this journey—many people experience the same struggle.
Bridging Worlds
If you want to see me wing it, I do a podcast with cool people. You should subscribe on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.
Hello everyone! In the latest episode of Bridging Worlds, I had a fascinating conversation with Markus Drößler, a successful entrepreneur. What particularly inspired me? Markus said: 'Self-employment forces you to constantly get better'. He shares his personal experiences about growth, freedom and why it's so important to be authentic. This episode is full of valuable insights for anyone considering taking the leap into self-employment. Listen in and be inspired!
Keep winging it, and I’ll see you in the next one.
Big love,
Tim
